We regret to inform you...
Our whole entire life we claim to be in the pursuit of happiness but it seems our happiness is defined by acceptance. From birth we seek the approval of others. It's like reassurance that we are doing the right thing. Whether it be our parents, friends, supervisors, or even sometimes our kids. We are slaves to this approval game. Eventually we realize we are too tired to seek the approval of others or we realize we already have the approval of those who matter. Its like the saying goes " Those who care don't matter and those who matter don't care". This saying to me says stop seeking approval and just do you. The system trains us to get that second sign off. We are trained to have only so much confidence. That small percentage of doubt we are programmed with is enough to overpower any amount of confidence we have. Its that small amount of doubt that keeps us in line. That keeps us having more faith in the system than we have in ourselves. We feel like a small individual in the larger population and as long as we stay doubting ourselves we help keep the peace for the greater good. The second someone finds enough confidence to follow through with their ideas, they must be neutralized. These idealists are disruptive to the order of the whole. In my opinion the whole doesn't care about the individual and their desire.
Let's start as babies, we seek the approval of our parents because they are the first people we meet coming into this world. Parents actions speak loudly to the impressionable infants. We seek there cheers, smiles, and approving pat's on the back. It's borderline pet like. We do tricks for treats. Anything for the pat on the head that says "Good Boy". Not bashing parenting but without the proper discussions about why its a setup for failure.
Eventually we reach grade school age and somehow the stars align and we end up with a solid group of friends. Now as this newfound friendship begins we quickly determine a leader this is the individual that took charge and selected this bunch of misfits to be a team. This is the guy or girl who sets the bar that all others must shoot for. He or she determines what's acceptable and what's not in this specific group. As a follower we seek to rise to this occasion. Right hand man is the next best position to be in. This is our second experience in persuasion and influence. We quickly realize in order to get somewhere in this group we have to fall in line. This small portion of the population serves as our peers. These type of group interactions carry us through grade school. Aside from our friends we need to get the approval of our teachers. Teachers are the gateway to the future without their approval we cannot progress(academically). It's like the manufacturing process without approval on the assembly line we cannot move on to the next step.
Upon leaving grade school the most important thing is being accepted into a college. There are two options, you seek acceptance from one of your dream schools or you attempt to get a job. Either way your once again looking for that acceptance of others. Entering college we once again restart this cycle of finding those who define success and then living up to the standard they provide. Professors are once again the gatekeepers to the land of so called success. Friends serve as the gatekeepers to a successful social life. If you find the balance, college is an easy step. The biggest acceptance scam up to this point in one's life is college. I'm not saying college is stupid it teaches us important theory and concepts that in the event we follow that career path set out for us we should definitely apply these but, the acceptance process is the issue. Many fields have what I call degree Nazis. They discriminate against the no name school degrees. If we hear someone graduated from Harvard or Yale or one of these popular and well funded powerhouses these people are put on pedestals. The college marketing plan is embedded in the DNA of society. College seems like the only route for kids graduating high school. Schools push the college speech cause supposedly academia is the only venture worth anything(Sarcasm people). Before the degree Nazis come the grade Nazis. What does a GPA tell you about a person? That they follow instructions well or maybe they are naturally academically inclined. Sadly it tells you nothing about the actual individual. What about those honor societies? I don't see the correlation between amount of honor societies you are proudly a member of and the amount of major contributions you've made to society as a whole. College has its purpose. College gives us that glimpse of hope. It teaches us to think more freely and allows us to learn more about ourselves. The major problem is its a major money pit. We are so convinced that we need to be at the best schools that we are blind to the fact we are dumping dollars into these overpriced institutions all while burying ourselves in debt. That's a discussion for another day though.Once you graduate again your on the hunt for the new challenge to restart the cycle we've lived thus far.
The usual route for a graduate is straight to work. We decide building another man's dream is the route we need to take to eventually achieve our own dreams.Somewhere in the work process a lot of us forget our own dreams and we make the ultimate sacrifice. We push aside our vision for another's. We sacrifice our own vision the thing that kept us going all this time, that one glimpse of hope that good fortunes down the road. We settle in because that's what being accepted is. Acceptance is a pillar in our lives. We feed off of it.
The thing we must understand is that old folks don't care, they've lived long enough to realize only one must accept them as they are. That one person we should seek acceptance from is ourselves. Acceptance is based on the person's agenda and personal plan. Acceptance is based on can you serve your purpose in another's master plan. Who knows your agenda better than you? No one! We got so caught up in stats set by a system that actually has no idea what our personal goals are. The system has no equation for inputting a person's personal desire and getting an output of the exact path in which the individual is to travel to reach such goals. The beauty of life is no one knows what yours will turn out to be. No one can provide you a DIY handbook on how to be the best you possible. We are all beginners in the game called life. It's your ability to sort through the bullshit and make your own plan regardless of who or what institution will have you. Oh you didn't get into Harvard so what! You can still go to another school and achieve your dreams of being a doctor. Your path is yours and yours alone to travel.
The ones who accept you for who you are are the only ones who could possibly have an opinion that matters. Don't fall into the trap of seeking the acceptance or approval of others when the ones you seek acceptance from know nothing of your dreams. You accept yourself and build on that. Do you and nothing else. You know where your headed, the rest of them, speed bumps and potholes on the road to your potential. Until next time keep it LYM.